That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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