So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
