I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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