She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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