so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
