i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
