So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
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