dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
