his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
