Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
