last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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