Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
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The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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