If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
