I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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