hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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