his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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