Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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