No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
