The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
