Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
