You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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