I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
