I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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