I cannot find my penis.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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