Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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