oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
