We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
