are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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