Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
