I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
