Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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