If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
