in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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