The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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