Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
