I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
