Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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