im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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