Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize