But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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