there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
