Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
