dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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