Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
