your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize