I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
