Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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