That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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