Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
