Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So vagazzling was a success
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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