Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize