dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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