their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
