Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
