Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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