idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
