she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
