He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
