I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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