Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.