a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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