therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
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I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?