He disabled his match.com account in front of me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize