it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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