dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
